While out and about, I ran into an angelic faced, kind, but troubled young man I worked with a few years back. He looked so grown up (now 21), and after squeezing the life out of me (LOL), he had to tell me how he got “his act together” and more importantly how Christ got “ahold” of him. It is amazing to witness the power of our God, and I was just so proud to see how his emotions bubbled to the surface as he excitedly talked.
I met him when he was 17 years old, wild unkempt red hair and dull green eyes. The night of our introduction was the worst time of his precious yet tortured existence. He sat in the most isolated corner of this huge activity center; his arms wrapped around his knees. The Director of the youth campus had called and asked for me to come down. He hoped a new face would bring answers as the boy’s friends said he wouldn’t talk.
As this innocent boy shook my hand, I noticed fresh rope burns around his wrists. He had hoped to conceal them by wearing a denim jacket not needed for that particular season. The Director asked if we could visit with him. I asked if I could sit beside him on the floor.
With his soul so broken, our conversation progressed rapidly from small talk to matters of the heart. He timidly shared about his abusive father, who made a game out of beating him on a weekly basis. Older bruises around his face confirmed those stories for me. When the conversation became still, I looked him straight in the eyes, placed my hand on his shoulder, and gently asked, “Who tied you down?” He didn’t realize that I saw his hidden secret.
Like in a movie, he threw his arms around me and began sobbing. I rocked him back and forth and asked him what happened. Now being in the social work world, I was pretty confident I knew the disturbing answer. However, through gulps of air he confirmed to the Director and I that he had been raped. The constraints were to keep him from fleeing. The boy cried in my arms for an hour. When he was able to talk in full sentences, the first words out of his mouth were “I’m sorry.” He was sorry that he cried as though he had caused me some inconvenience.
Jesus wept (John 11:35) – the shortest verse in the Bible, yet so powerful! Almighty God displaying weakness? I think not, but rather compassion for His friends.
Yet some view tears as a sign of weakness. Did God give us tears to display our frailty? No, tears are given to express emotion. Tears provide a healthy outlet for how we feel inside. The Bible says God keeps our tears in a bottle (Psalms 56:8) as if they are precious to Him. Tears disgust some people, though not Jesus. Jesus could have kicked Mary and told her to stop the foolishness, washing his feet with her tears, but He didn’t. Simon criticized her, but Jesus commended her. The daughters of Jerusalem were weeping as Jesus was being led away to the Cross. Jesus told them not to weep for Him, but to weep for themselves and others (Luke 23:28).
Crying is a way to release tension, a way to cleanse the emotion that is otherwise stuck inside without expression.
A baby who cannot talk yet communicates by crying. As I was reading Scripture and looking online, I found a counselor’s fantastic definition for crying. “Tears can be a sign of a breakthrough, conviction of sin, or an expression of hurt, anger or sorrow. Tears open up an opportunity to discuss what is going on in the person’s heart.”
God says there is a time to cry as well as to laugh (Ecclesiastes 3:4). We are actually commanded to cry. Rejoice with them that do rejoice and weep with them that weep (Romans 12:15). We are blessed when we weep because soon we will laugh (Luke 16:21). Weeping may endure for the night, but joy comes in the morning (Psalms 30:5). They that sow in tears will reap in joy (Psalms 126:5).
Seeing that 21 year old reminded me it IS okay to cry….and for record, you NEVER have to apologize for it in front of me or anyone.
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