I replied with a simple “yes,” but truthfully, I think my ears stopped working after his first line was delivered. Initially what drove me to the doctor was the fear of a miscarriage; however, in my mind, I never registered “a problem.” Not me…I’m 32 years old and other than a little extra fluffiness around the waist, I have been very healthy. But now I found myself stepping into a totally different scenario.
Room 8…there I was in my stylish turquoise and blue hospital gown, heated blanket around my shoulders, and sitting on a puppy training pad literally….so it begins:
“Just wanted to get a urine sample from you.”
“I’m from the lab…I need to draw some blood.”
“I’m going to take you back for your ultrasound.”
“Need to take your vitals again.”
“I’d like you to take this medication before the next test.”
“We’ll need to get you scheduled for a biopsy.”
My overly stressed husband waited with me as a parade of doctors and nurses came in and out...poking, pushing, and prodding. He wanted answers right then and there; he just wanted me to have peace. My youngest son requested play-by-play via text message of the not only the doctor’s tests but also the doctor’s & the nurses’ attitudes towards his parents. He just wanted me safe and treated tenderly. As for me, I was getting anxious while riding a roller coaster of emotion. My mind swirled; I had heard all the possibilities and remained less than thrilled with even the simplest… let alone cervical cancer. What about having children? Maybe I don’t have a problem…Maybe I AM the problem. The vicious circle continued.
About halfway through the 5 ½ hour experience, God BOPPED me on the head to awaken me from my pity party. Words of James 1:2-12 began travel from my heart to mind…resounding crystal clear:
“ Consider it all joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do. Believers in humble circumstances ought to take pride in their high position. But the rich should take pride in their humiliation—since they will pass away like a wild flower. For the sun rises with scorching heat and withers the plant; its blossom falls and its beauty is destroyed. In the same way, the rich will fade away even while they go about their business. Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.”
See every trial brings faith…faith brings endurance…endurance to wisdom…wisdom to reward, especially for God’s Kingdom. Then it dawned me: “ARE YOU COUNTING IT ALL JOY?”
Earlier that SAME week, my Pastor shared with us his serious health concerns which would also lead to a pending biopsy (fluttered with just as many scary possibilities). While talking with me, he shared that this experience was going to ALLOW him the opportunity to proclaim that GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME. He was being GIVEN the chance to “put his money where his mouth was after 16 years in ministry.” Just as fast as the Scripture came to me from the Holy Spirit, so did Rev. Mark’s words and powerful, inspiring example.
Those two thoughts during that uncertain time SEALED the deal! I serve an awesome God…regardless of the process or results, HE REMAINS ON THE THRONE NOT ONLY IN HEAVEN BUT ALSO WITHIN MY HEART. GOD IS GOOD…ALL THE TIME!
Thank you, Rev. Mark!
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